Is this really what it's all about? It's in your power to wake
yourself up, would you like to? People
are diverse, and even a good formula doesn't work for everybody: married with
children, a house in suburbia, 2 or 3 large cars, mortgage payments and
bills. Which dreams satisfy you? You could uproot the unworkable memes that
block your satisfaction.
Note---The concept of 'The American Dream' is entirely
constructed, do not actually believe that it exists in Reality. As mentioned
before, it is a meme--which acts virally--and only exists inside of a mind
which accepts (has Faith in) it.Your dream exists, you exist, but "The
American Dream" as an independent 'thing' does not.
#1 '''Notice''' your
level of dissatisfaction. If you
are completely satisfied, that's great and congratulations. These suggestions are for helping the rest of
us. If anybody's way of spending time or
activity makes you feel jealous, admit it to yourself; you're only human. Notice what sorts of activities give you this
feeling, and which you are glad you're not doing. Notice if you prefer to be hurried, or if you
prefer to be unhurried. If you daydream, notice about what.
#2 '''Pay attention''' to your level of
dissatisfaction; it has a tendency to fall out of your awareness, if you don't
yet know what to do about it, or if you believe "nothing can be done about
it anyway". You can push on through
this belief in order to try experiments; if full satisfaction seems very
unlikely but not quite impossible, something can be done after all. Settling for "good enough" can slow
down the awareness you're looking for.
If you ever have the thought, "there's got to be more than
this", follow that thought and see where it leads.
#3 '''Seek sources'''
of understanding your dissatisfaction.
Your dissatisfaction is not random, it has causes, and you can come to
understand the cause-and-effect relations underlying the obstacles to your full
satisfaction. There are some excellent
materials available for free at the public library, including the books of
Daniel Quinn, James Howard Kunstler, Harry Browne, Jim Marrs, Derrick Jensen,
Starhawk, and others; authors who point to the possible origins of the problem,
and to steps towards solutions. A few
links are below. You could also ask the
freest, most vibrant person you know!
#4 '''Become aware'''
of what causes your dissatisfaction.
Take the understanding from your sources and make it yours, adapting if
need be. Learn how to tell what desires
and dreams come from inside you, and which desires and dreams were given to you
by the culture you grew up in and the outside influences that surround us. Taking time to listen inside yourself is hard for busy people, but it is crucial.
#5 '''Make personal choices''' that move
you away from the causes of your dissatisfaction. New choices can move you towards causes of
joy, relaxation, relief, belonging, and freedom to control more of your own
time. Pay attention to which choices
increase your ability to choose further, and which restrict your next
choices. Which brings
us to:
#6 '''Research''' the assumptions on
which the American Dream is based:
If the current economic crisis alarms you, Click Here!!
#1'''Consider the meaning of owning '''a house and land''':
What does [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allodial_title allodial land ownership]
mean? Is home "ownership" now
[http://www.castlecoalition.org/past_abuses/index.html complicated]? How much of that mortgage payment just pays
interest? While a house may appear at
first to be enriching, you don't wish yours to become the master while you work
more and more hours of the week just to improve and maintain the house you are
too tired to enjoy. It may be
enlightening for you as a homeowner to '''track your time''' and see if it's
true for you or not.
#2'''Empower'''
your own location choices. As
transportation costs skyrocket, you don't have to become a victim of the
shortsightedness of others. If suburbia
([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suburb#History history]) was arguably built with
no thought to the oil price rises now beginning, then '''think about''' how the
end of cheap transportation could make islands of these locations; will there
be enough fish in the surrounding waters (figuratively speaking) to feed the
inhabitants? It may be wise for you to
choose to '''get out early''', into a more sustainable type of neighborhood.
#3'''Determine''',
on your own, the veracity of
"A nice '''new car''' will get you the girl or guy of your
dreams". How often do we hear and see that message in various forms every
day? After payments, insurance, traffic,
congestion, isolation, parking, maintenance, risks, and fuel costs, for you it
may not be the convenience it looks like in the ads. You can free yourself of the debt from a nice
new car, free yourself from the depletion of dwindling fossil fuel reserves,
and free yourself from contributing atmospheric greenhouse gases. Isn't it better to '''move to a place'''
where you can walk or [http://gristmill.grist.org/story/2007/5/18/12579/3294
bicycle] to the places that matter to you?
Could you take pride in electrically-operated public transportation?
(While most electricity is now produced by fossil fuels, it doesn't ''have'' to
be, and renewables are increasing as fossil fuel prices rise).
#4'''Decide'''
if marriage is really for you; '''make''' your approach and decisions more
'''conscious'''. You don't have to be
one of the many good people who allow a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage
'''marriage'''] to become a nightmare or a lie; instead you could do an honest,
fearless and searching inventory of your motivations and needs. If it works for you, personalize it. If it doesn't look to be for you, you may
wish to research ways of living and loving that don't require a contract. If a marriage isn't working for you and your
partner, you can '''talk it out''' and negotiate a dissolution of the contract
before it becomes necessary, as Harry Browne recommends in ''How I Found
Freedom in an Unfree World''. In any
case, this step means '''make it conscious'''.
#5'''Visit''' another way of doing things. '''Look''' at several dreams and
compare. Many of these are in other
countries and work just as well for Truth, Justice, Beauty, and maybe for
you. Several other countries are very
close; once there, you have to get off the beaten tourist paths, which imitate
somebody else's dream anyway (something you're learning to not do), so live
like the locals for a try. One of the
clearest ways to get a perspective on which dream is for you is to see the one
you were raised in from a distance, a far geographic - and especially cultural
- distance. The more
'''different''', the better to compare.
There are small pockets of other ways inside the USA
as well, if you know where to look: Ecovillages, intentional communities,
squats, artists' colonies, food coops, cohousing, traveling shows, and
progressive employers. Lots of creative people.
#6'''Consider'''
not having children just yet. It's more fair to kids if you finish sorting out your priorities
first, and it enables you to experiment.
You may find it pleasant to extend this time...indefinitely. Consider making a satisfying contribution to
your community or world that a busy parent cannot accomplish. If you do really want to raise a child, there
are plenty of wonderful adoptable ones that already exist and need love, who
don't add to the crowding and resource problems that make all dreams harder to fulfill.
#7 Once you have awakened, you can act''' to start changing
your life and freeing your time.
Discover the Secret to Weathering a Recession and Walking Away
with Your
Bank Account, Your Retirement Fund,
Your Investments and Your Pride!
#1. Examine your possessions for hidden costs or
choice-restrictions. Except for the
tools with which you make a living, you may find selling some to pay off your
debts frees your time and space.
#2. Network with
others who are following their own way rather than formulas.
#3. Barter a service for a service. That is, do something for somebody that does
something for you, with no money involved.
Likely, you both will spend less time than it takes to work for money to
pay for the service, and you may prefer the personable quality. Try out making an agreement on a one-time
basis with a mere acquaintance or even a stranger!
#4. Brainstorm what your life could be like if you could do more of what you like and less of what you don't. Brainstorm responsible ways to take short breaks where you try that life on for size. Brainstorm ways to more quickly meet your basic responsibilities so as to make these breaks longer and longer.
#5. Try the experiment of keeping a record of how you spend your money. After a month or so, look at each item on your list and give it a quick "thumbs-up" mark if it was worth it according to your personal values, or a quick "thumbs-down mark" if it cost too much according to your personal values. This works best if you make a point to be clear in terms of pleasing yourself; if you want to please others, before or after your marking session is better, just not during. Make a small reminder card of the notable thumbs-ups and thumbs-downs, carry it in your wallet or purse right next to your money, and glance at it when you reach for your money. Your awareness will increase, and increasingly match your own values. Think of spending as something you can change.
#6. Try keeping a record of how you spend your time. After two weeks or so, give a quick "thumbs-up" mark to each worth-it item according to your personal values, or a quick "thumbs-down mark" if it cost too much time according to your personal values. This also works best if you make a point to be clear to please your own self; that is, you may give your times of helping others high marks, just mark with your preferences in mind, not theirs or the cultural norm. Make a small reminder card of the notable thumbs-ups and thumbs-downs, clip it to your calendar or schedule, and glance at it when you make your schedule, or agree to do something, or plan, and once a day at a random time. Your awareness will increase, and increasingly match your own values. Think of spending time as something you can change.
#7. If you find yourself choosing differently, you may wish to Find or found a cohousing neighborhood, or a community where you can live well on less monetary income (they do exist), and move there; or
#8. Investigate more creative options like living in cities as a squatter, freegan, and/or nomad. People with minor children will have fewer viable options, but opportunities for communal sharing of expenses do exist. As more people empower themselves and find each other, more support for children becomes available.
Tips:
Many of these steps involve coming to awareness -
literally, just like waking up!
Finding ways to get more of what you want may free you from
having to chase what you don't really want.
As you increase your satisfaction, you may find yourself living on less
monetary income, but don't let it frighten you: it does not have to mean living
''poorly''.
"Be careful not to overcompensate."
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